bell's funvitational 2015

The point when I realized it was too cold for shorts.

There are a lot of beer festivals. Like, a lot of beer festivals, especially because we live in Michigan, where there's a new brewery every twelve seconds (okay maybe more like twelve weeks) and there's nothing the vast majority of Michiganders like better than looping twine through giant sourdough pretzels & packets of beef jerky to maraud around in a field/parking lot/park/etc., potentially soggy & freezing or sweaty and what feels like actually melting, to taste tiny samples of weird ass beers while "accidentally" forgetting to turn in their tokens.

So, there are a lot of beer festivals in Michigan. I have been to a lot of beer festivals in Michigan (and elsewhere for that matter - shout out to Indianapolis, Chicago, and Toronto!), but nobody else yet has done it the way Bell's did it for their 30th anniversary.

Granted it certainly helped that I had three of my favorite people in the world there with me (I have always had this sort of weird tender and fiercely possessive love for my place in my closest friendship as the only girl among a handful of boys, but this time around there was the added delight of introducing them to my boyfriend & watching the lot of us act like we've all been friends for the entirety of our lives), but you guys. Bell's does it like nobody does it.

The festival didn't start until 4 pm on Saturday evening, but registration & check in started at noon, so we sauntered in around 1ish after hearing that we could bottle share in line - and when we got there we were astonished to find we were literally only the second group in line??? Which ended up being fantastic for multiple reasons including:

• The line surrounded a football field, so we dragged a large team bench over to the beginning of the line and thus for three hours we had a place to chill, lounge, and drink beer with the masses.
• We made friends with the guys in front of us who not only shared huge amounts of delicious rare beers but also had secret friends inside who broke the news about double barrel Hunahpu to us which meant we had plenty of time to indulge before the keg kicked.
• At one point just before the doors opened for the festival, we realized we had a few scattered bottles left that we wouldn't be able to drink before being let in - and the rules were bottle sharing in line was allowed, but bringing in any alcohol, opened or no, was not, which, while being a crappy rule, did lead to the greatest moment of my life which was: standing on a shaky aluminum bench a little bit tipsy holding up a bottle of Goose Island Bourbon County Brand Stout and shouting FREE BCBS WHO WANTS SOME?? At which point the masses converged on me and I felt something akin to the Jesus of Beer. (This feeling returned later on when multiple people we didn't remotely know but whom we had shared beer with us found us inside the festival and showered us with extra beer tokens.)

My boys <3 <3 <3

So as I'm standing there pouring to the lot of people behind us who hadn't gotten there three hours early and weren't already like 15 tastings into the evening, the greatest thing to ever signal the beginning of a beer festival happened, which was AN ACTUAL MARCHING BAND LED US IN TO THE BASEBALL FIELD. No, really. A raunchy sounding slapdash marching band dressed in gold & black nonsense. I have never actually been more pleased. Until like three minutes later while halfway through my Hunahpu and standing in line for some Russian River Supplication I realized there were actual Bell's 30th Anniversary party hats, and they were free.  And then like an hour later when I realized both Spruce & Double Two Hearted were happening in my exceptionally blessed life.

ACTUAL MARCHING BAND.

I just don't know why people thought we were all so drunk already????

My literal only regret is that I was too busy tasting beer to play Giant Skee-Ball, but the opportunity will present itself again some day, I'm certain...

In conclusion, basically every beer festival should probably follow the format of: Giant pre-party, marching band, super huge lineup of tasty rare beers, giant funk/soul dance party back at the brewery afterward.  (With a small break in between for us to acquire the best shawarma of my life.)

Funk soul brothas.

I'm looking at you, Michigan Brewer's Guild.